INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION

raging_ritch

today is my final interview with the company i applied for weeks ago. the job is tempting, i mean, you go to a totally new environment where you are not know and all that. my final interview was brief. little chit-chat. then comes the bomb, will you be able to work soon? like monday?

whoa!!!! i mean, i came for an interview. i was not expecting to be hired immediately. or at least give me time to think. think things over. they did not even ask me if i have questions or something.

the loop hole in the offer was, i would work for 6 days a week for 12 hours. i mean, i am not used to working 12 hours, or at least my college training is 8 hours. would that be against the law? i mean, 6 days x 12 hours is like 48 hours... the law requires 40 hours of work each week...

grrr!!!!!! i mean, will i take it... i dont f**cking know!!!! half of me says take it,for the experience... but half of me says, what is the rush? are you okay with the offer?

just like kris aquino's line: desisyon mo ang kapalaran mo.... or something like that...

raging_ritch

would you leave the philippines for Php 100M? bur you are destined not to return for life. what would you do?

that is the question that made me think... not once... twice... but for the nth time today...

at first i said, maybe... then came the catch... never to return... HELL NO!

my life is in the philippines... my everything is in the philippines... my nothing is in the philippines... i just love the philippines so much that i would not accept that huge amount of money that...

it is indeed a huge amount of money even if you convert it in dollars... you could practically buy anything you want... even some people... but would you really be happy to turn your back to the country that brought you to where you are now...

okay... if you are reading this, and you said yes you would take the money... i respect your decision but think about this...

you have an internet access, and most likely you finished a degree, pursuing a degree, planning to get a degree, or something... it that is the case, somehow you have used some of the resources of this country... you studied in a philippine school, private or public... you sought the services of the country...then you want to leave in a instant with a bunch of money and serve other country... how grateful of you...

you may be disagreeing now... but hear me out... did you ever hear the poorest of the poor shouting to the whole world that they want to leave the country? they are more concerned with where they would get the food for the next meal...

then here you are, the educated one, the one being trained, goes ranting that you want to leave the philippines... greed must be driving you...

if i would hear a little beggar in the street selling newspaper, sampaguita, etc who would say, hey, i want to see wall street, the grand canyon, the opera house, the white house, the taj mahal, the great wall, disneyland, universal studios blah... blah... blah... then i would have any part of my body removed... of course given the fact that you do not teach them...

go ask a kid in the now what they dream of... they would not mention leaving the philippines...

those who dream of leaving the country are the very people educated in the walls of the campuses of this country... those people who have seen other countries and would not stop comparing our third world country to that of the first world they visited..

i am just saddened by the fact that the hopes of this nation is leaving faster than they were molded...

i know how hard life now in the philippines is... i do not come from a well to do family... i am actually unemployed with barely a couple of hundred pesos in my pockets... i do not own a fancy phone... i did not have a 5-figure weekly allowance back in college... i had had and still have petty debts from people... but i would never leave the philippines for Php 100M... not in this lifetime... not even in the next, if given another lifetime...

raging_ritch

i have watched the thunderbirds just this morning on hbo...

 i am just interested in the one line of the characters,

" YOU THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SCIENCE, NOT GIRLS!"

and sometime i would like to agree....

raging_ritch

ang hirap namang mamili... ito na naman ang mga katanungang ang simple pero ang hirap sagutin... hayup!!!!!

1. sino ang pipiliin ko?

a. yung lagi kong kasama na masaya ako kapag kasama pero may ibang minamahal...

 b. yung iniwan ko sa baguio na single, pero ang estado namin eh naglalaro sa friends at m.u....

c. yung aking nakaraan na nagpapahiwatig ng pagbabalik...

d. wag na lang kaya kasi mas simple pero mas kumplikado rin naman...

hay... nakakainis... bakit kung sarili ko na ang nagkakaroon ng problema hindi ko mapayuhan yung aking sarili... samantalang ang aking mga kaibigan eh sa akin tumatakbo kapag may problema sa ganito at kahit papaano ay nabibigyang linaw ang mga problema nila... bakit ngayon, hindi ko alam ang gagawin...

raging_ritch

i hate this show.... i was like channel surfing while deal or no deal is on commercial break... i landed on captain barbel... so now, they call him Arel or something...

 F**K!  could you be more obvious being a copycat... SMALLVILLE RIP OFF!!!! well, Jorel is the father of Kal-EL in Smallville... Kal-El happens to be Clark Kent! Clark Kent's local version is Captain barbel...

 Pu******a!! i am really pissed off kasi sinira ng show na ito yung kwento ng original captain barbel.... saan na yung nagtratransform si herbert bautista to edu manzano or ogie alcasid to bong revilla... saan na yung patpatin na si teng na bubuhat ng literal na barbel sabay sigaw ng "captain barbell"? where did the barbell go?? itinago sa dibdib... nakakainis!!!!

raging_ritch

a few days ago, i thought the day would pass without any incident that may add to then a rough day... it was my second day with my tonsilitis, coug, colds and i was really not feeling well...

it happened after dinner.... kuya von, a housemate of ours asked me to fix my clothes into my cabinet because he needs the hangers... as soon as i removed the first shorts, he was about to step out in the laundry area when something came falling from the apartment right above ours... somebody just PUKED on the laundry of kuya von, on my set of underwears and socks...

blood suddenly rushed to my head, that i cannot distinguish what is giving me pain in my head... my cough and colds or the sudden surge of blood... my brother, kuya miel, began banging on their door to let the criminal clean his mess...

the smell of fresh barf filled our bedroom, which was jst adjacent the scene of the crime... i almost felt i gonna blow... so i just ran out of the apartment, and waited for the criminal to come down... it took him about five mintes before finally showing up... together with the tenant... take note: the criminal is the guest...

the tenants were asking apologies for their guest... my brother, being man of few words that he is, threatened, "linisin niyo yun... minsan pang mangyari ito, ewan ko na kung anong mangyayari..." (clean that up... if this happens again,  i am not sre what i may do to you...)

 so when, everything settled, i inspected the damage to my underwears and socks... damn... it was 6 new underwears, one of which was my newly purchased bench body... grrr... and a pain of burlington socks, 1pair of  my iverson  socks...  rooooooooooooooooooaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

i wanted to scream, yell, and hit that man... but it occurred to me that i was just a new in the area...  wait till i mark my sixth month... if anything like that happens, i could get really violent...

well, i have to throw all those puke-soaked underwear and socks...  there is no way i am going to wash that and wear it again..... yuck!

 so the next day, i rushed to sm manila to buy fresh set of underwear from dickies.... good thing i have my credit card, courtesy of my brother.... 

how i hate dirty laundry... literally and metaphorically....

raging_ritch

"why do i love keeping my head with a hammer? its because it feels good when i stop..."

--m. grey, grey's anatomy 

raging_ritch

well... well... well...

 just like most people in my nursing batch of 2006, we have a really great problem... we are generally jobless... unemployed... bum...

 we are still liabilities of our parents and our society....

sad as it may seem, we have no control over the matter... we are mere victims of the dishonesty of a few... the greediness of a few... the crab mentality of the some...

as for me and others who worked their asses out during the review deserve our licenses.... i mean, hey, i read the whole book of letty kuan... care for the elderly and the code of ethics for nurse prior to the exam... NOTHING came out of it... but i read it... i studied for many sleepless nights... we had our final coaching... they were just giving us tips, actually nothing regarding the vaccination came out...

just to clear things.... i reviewed at the ST. LOUIS REVIEW CENTER, MANILA.... we never got the leakage.... our brains bled with the thousands of questions we were tasked to answer over the two months of review....

i believe, it does not concern the review center... it concerns the education.... the training from our respective universities... not to brag, SLU, is one of the Center for Excellence in Nursing Education... we had to deal with four years of agony... we have previsits... you may be wondering about previsit.... it is when you get to literally visit, assess and interview before you go for duty the next day... we do it so we would be knowledgeab le of our patient's case... our ncp is bleeding to death with red ink... incident reports are overflowing in the clinical area... from simple erasure, wrong forwarding to proper time, late, lost ID, namplate, pin, unironed uniform... hugging, kissing, holding hands and going to the mall in uniform are only few of the strict rules of our university... every violation comes with an incident report....  no other school does it that way... or at least that is what i know... 

so what happens next after passing the board?

do we have to wait for another year or so before we could put our education to practice?.. we may become all too rusty by then... or maybe enjoying the fat salary of being a call center agent in the streets of Makati... so what will happen to our batch? what will happen to us?...

retake? i would go for the retake with the folowwing conditions...

1.we do it before december.... we have wasted so much time and money over the past few months...

2.those named in the leakage should not be involved in any way regarding the retake...

3.all expenses should be shouldered by the government...

4. processing should be made easier... more smooth...

in the first place it is not our fault some people are so careless of their manuscripts or maybe not...

watching cheche lazaro's probe episode last wednesday  night made me think... and rethink...

SOMEBODY HAS TO PAY FOR THIS...

AND THAT SHOULD NOT BE US...

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to test one's character, values and principles... just throw in the money, fame and power... the angel will soar or the devil will unveil its disguise

raging_ritch

sabi nila...

 ang TANGA...

nandyan na sa harap mo, di mo pa nakikita...

 ang DUWAG...

nakikita na wala pang ginagawa....

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ako... magiging tanga na lang ako kesa maging duwag.... pero kung pwede sana wala sa dalawa....

raging_ritch

today, august 28, 2006, i woke up to a half-dream, half-nightmare...

today, i completed the necessary requirements for my license application....

today, i saw her with him in bed... she spent the whole night with her... damn!!!!

today, i learned that i really need a job to remain in manila...  if i don't, going home is my last but definitely an open option...

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why don't i like going back?

simple, i have not proven that i can live independently... i am still that lazy man... that dependent man... that man who wants thing in a whim...

 well, if i have a choice... i would stay here.... but i am more of a liability than an asset right now... not until i get a decent job will i able to stay here...

i have many people back home that i dont want to disappoint... especially myself... but lately, i have noticed that i cannot pace with the life here in manila... i can't live here without supporting my own finances... it would be a shame if i would still ask for an allowance... but that is how it goes... you have to become a starter, novice, freshie, amateur... and that sucks... life in the real world is really hard... and i hate it... at the moment...

raging_ritch

i always dreamt of having a movie... wahahaha... if i was "artistahin"... tall... mestizo....unfortunately, i am not...

but i still feel like a movie star because of one deal...

this may sound crazy and all but i like the concept.... it feels like a romantic film...

sometime in the recent past, out of nowhere, somebody told me, if by this age we are still single, we will get married...

at first, it was laughing to myself and then i even bargained, hey it is better at 28.... hahahaha... it was a joke... but somehow, i was hoping i was not...

the deal is so cliche... two single individuals who will reach this certain age and then we get married, if we are still single...

last night, i gave it much thought... for a joke, i gave it that much thought... funny...

i came up with three major ideas...

1. i may end up marrying before my 28th bday... or she may be marrying before her 28th birthday....

2. i may end up flirting around and because i assume i have a fall back...

     2.1she may be still single and we get married

     2.2 she may be married and i will be still searching

     2.3 or maybe a reserve of the situation

3. we could still be in love and we just have not discussed it and then we will still be waiting for our 28th bday to realize it...

Maybe there would still be more options that would pop in my head...

raging_ritch

kanina ay muntik na akong makasapak ng tao...

kasi habang nag-aantay ng oras sa may ortigas... kunwa'y may nagtanong ng oras tapos biglang nakiupo at saka nakipagkwentuhan.... may interview din daw siya sa building na iyo kaso hindi pa nga nagpapapasok si mama guard kasi maaga pa daw...

long story short... napag-usapan namin na desperado na akong magkatrabaho habang inaantay na maayos ang gusot na kinasasangkutan ng buong nursing batch 2006 na kumuha ng board exams noong june...

estrangherong gago (EG): desperado ka na talagang magkapera?

ritch (R): oo naman... nakakahiya na kasi..

EG: may hitsura ka naman... bakit di ka na lang kaya mag-call boy? (note: walang halong pagbibiro sa tono o sa mukha niya!)

R: (nagulat... di agad nakasagot!) uh.... mmm... actually, option ko din yan.... hehehe... ( biglang unti-unting umaakyat ang dugo ko sa ulo!!! andaming tumatakbo sa isip ko... ewan ko kung ma-fla-flatter ako dahil may hitsura ako... o mabwibwisit dahil ambaba ng tingin niya sa akin... kaya kunwa'y tumayo na ako at magpupunta sa banyo... pero pumunta ako... di na nga lang ako bumalik... )

buong pag-uusap namin at pagmamayabang niya na siya ay graduate ng isa sa mga mamahaling pamantasan dito sa manila... hindi matanggal sa akin na magduda na baka trabaho nga niya ito noong colegio pa siya... kaawa-awa...

o baka naman naakit lang siya sa aking angking kakisigan at kagaguhan este kagwuapuhan.... ewan ko lang...

basta... may hitsura din naman ako ah...