INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION

raging_ritch

almost a year ago, i met this wonderful group...  it is very unlikely that we meet people in PRC Manila and eventually become friends after....

may 11, 2006, i alone went to PRC manila to registered for the june 2006 nursing board exams... yes, i am part of that batch... unfortunate but true... that fateful day, the day before my birthday, i courageously approached this lady and asked her to help me out with the processin since i am new in manila and i do not have a company... during the time, i thought they were just a group of three ladies.... but then when we need to paste our pictures in the forms, it happened that the paste i had was the paste ng bayan... or at least say for us fourteen souls... then the friendship began....

after the board exams, we had to bid farewell because we have to go back to our old lives... but we remained to be in contact... thanks to sms, friendster and e-mail... the few benefits of the world wide web...

fast forward, april 2, 2006... i was in PRC Manila in order to register for the voluntary retake of test 3 and 5 of the licensure exam... yes, i am submitting myself for the retake... just to settle everything... as usual, i am alone...

i was at a lost going about the PRC when someone called out my name... it was a seemingly familiar warm voice... i looked around and saw a familiar face smiling... then i looked at the next set of faces and warm smiles greeted me... familiar faces indeed... my friends from University of Batangas... it was like so yesterday when we were doing the same thing.... but for now, it was only 9 of us who are registering this time... but it was a day where we once again, somehow caught up with each other's lives... and, again, the paste that i broguht was the paste ng bayan... Anthony even commented, "parang sa ganito uli tayo nagkakilala" while pointing to the tube of paste i handed him... Mitch smiled...

it was a long day, i was supposed to make it a quick registration but i thought that maybe it was fate that made it possible that we meet under such circumstances... same ... or say similar circumstances...

 they even invited me to join them in their outing in Lemerey, Batangas on April 16, 2007... well, i am considering of going since Mitch, April and Anthony were convincing me to go... Anthony joked a friend of theirs, "yung hindi pupunta hindi magkakaanak". I overheard it but did not mind but April said, "Ritch narinig mo? yung hindi pupunta, hindi magkakaanak"... she smiled with those "nanggagago" look painted all over her face and giggled...

today was a very fun day... i got to register for the board retake... i got to spend time with my friends from University of Batangas... 

raging_ritch

in a few hours, i would be on my ride home to baguio to spend the holy week with my friends and my family...

i have recently revived my interest in writing... i cant seem to help myself... it is as if i need to write and write...

currently, i am developing a story.... i am working on my major characters... the plot, i am stil playing with possibilities... the minor characters, i still dont know how to when to introduce em...

evidently, this is a fictional creation... though i can't help but inject pieces of me and of the people around me..... i have been running high on creating the perfect mix of people's personalities to create the major characters...

i am planning to create this laugh-out loud story by using the day to day conversations and experiences... hahahah.. my problem though is how to present it in a way that everyone can relate to each of the characters...

 waaahhh... i hope i can finish this within 12 months... whew... clock is ticking... i have written just a few pages... introducing the major characters and the circumstance that will bind the people in the story,...

i hope i won't run out of creative juices...

 wahahahaha...

im going to baguio to rest and write...

im going to pangasinan to pay last respects to a friend's father...

im going to la union to enjoy my grandma's birthday...

three places... in a week... then back to my alternate universe....

raging_ritch

Darkness is beckoning

The rain clouds have gathered

Lightning about to strike

Blasts of air launched

The fury comes in the still of the night

Everything silent is disturbed

Ever calm soul panicked

Stunned minds stopped thinking

Whatever happened in the dark hours

Anyone have their story to tell

Experiences to relieve

People to question

Gloom has set in

Smiles fades

Anger builds

Guilt  disappears

Relationships faded

People enraged

Individuals questioned

Lives changed

Years are forgotten

Moments of doom remembered

People cut you open

Feast on your flesh

In the darkness

We find people

We find ourselves

Then we are lost in the same darkness

raging_ritch

i stood in the shadows of the dark alley of someone's life.

silently i watched someone live and lie.

Lies became the solid truth

as i step out of the darkness

grasped the dagger of hate

blood trickled down my hands

stains of blood gave me impulses

thrust after another gave comfort

death is inevitable and ensured

no traces of guilt can haunt me

the point where enough is enough has come

some things end abruptly

truth is a beginning so can be a lie 

truth is a lie in itself

never will anyone know another soul fully

conceal ourselves in masks

bare our souls by hiding

raging_ritch

i just arrived from puerto galera... i am so tired from the trip but it was all worth the long travel!!!!

 one thing i am sure of, i will look forward to going back to those white shores...

raging_ritch

kasama sa aking pagtanda ang pagtatanong ng mga tao ng linyang,
"May gf ka na?”

Ako ay umuling lamang at tuloy sa aking pagkain…
“ Eh di ba si ... ano nangyari?"

aking simpleng sagot... “ninakaw... at nagpanakaw naman siya...”sabay tawa para maikubli ang pagkainis....
“hindi ko din alam kung bakit nga naman siya nagpanakaw eh hindi ko naman siya ipinapanakaw sa iba..”

ang magaling na mungkahi ng aking kaibigan, "eh di magnakaw na din..."

napakamot ako ng ulo... sabay sabing... "nakaw sabay uwi..." kami ay nagtawanan sa aming binibitiwang mga salita....

pero itong si kaibigan eh mabilis kumabig, "pero kung nakaw, eh baka nakawin din sa iyo..."

sa aking gulat eh may delay ako ng feedback ng mga 5 segundo... eh di magnakaw ka na lang uli ng iba, aking sagot....
at sinegundahan ko pa... "mahirap naman ipaglaban ang taong sumuko na sa laban... isinuko niya ako tapos ipaglalaban ko siya.... ang galing naman niya.... swerte naman niya ah kung ganun...."

tinapik niya ang aking likod at sabing, “yan ang fighting spirit… pero sigurado ako sa loob-loob mo (sabay turo sa aking puso) eh masakit…”

ako ay nagging mabilis sa aking sagot, isang malakas na siko sa kanyang tagiliran at may follow up pang isang napakalutong na batok…
 

sa mga ipapanakaw at ipinanakaw…
sa mga magnanakaw…
sa mga nagpapanakaw…
sa mga nakaw na sandali ang bagsak…
bakit mo kasi nanakawin kung pwede naming hingin…
bakit mo kasi ipapanakaw kung ayaw mo mawala…
bakit ka kasi  magpapanakaw kung ayaw mo talaga…
 

sa banding huli, ang nakawang nagaganap eh hindi maiiwasan… pagalingan na lang sa diskarte ng nakawan..

raging_ritch

Nursing is now at its peak. Even in the University, it seems that it is inevitable that they have to expand the College of Nursing. The Perfecto 7^th floor Chemistry Laboratories are now for Nursing Level II. The SLU Hospital of the Sacred Heart expanded to the former men’s dorm.

All these improvements are done to create a more suitable learning environment for their students and not to forget, accommodate the growing population of the College of Nursing. However, rest assured, you still get the quality education you are paying for (?).

In a few months, another batch of Pinoy Nightingales will soon enter the real world. I began to wonder, why all of a sudden, nursing became so in demand-or say ‘uso’. Like mushrooms in the once barren field, nursing schools and review centers are suddenly everywhere. My question is “WHY?” Money, I guess. Money for both the institutions and the soon-to-be nurses may be a real good reason.

Before I go further, let us take a look at the Profile of a Pinoy Nightingale. What is it that this particular race of nurses has? Some say, Pinoy Nurses are hardworking, caring and patient.

Pinoy Nurses with TLC (tender loving care) is what we usually hear. Gone were those days, I believe. Let us look at what we see now.

Yes, Pinoys are good at caring for people especially at the rate of $25 per hour (and above)that would be worth it, certainly, you would not be earning that in the Philippines not unless you plan to become a ‘lord’—jueteng lord, gambling lord, or drug lord.

Yes, Pinoys are hard working especially if the price is right, Pinoys would gladly do the work. Yes, Pinoys have the patience for everything especially if he knows that you are paying him substantially. These are just few reasons why people are taking up Nursing.

Bottom line, pursuing Nursing is no different than many Filipino’s wish to live the AMERICAN DREAM.

I cannot blame others if they do want a “greener pasture”. Green enough that it attracts professionals earning enough for them to take a second look at Nursing.

What really mad me laugh was when I heard my father say that Medicine is now the new PRE-NURSING course. I told myself, when money does really talk, everyone listens. This just proves one thing; money REALLY makes the (material) world go ‘round.

Show them the money! Mabilis pa sa alas-kuwatro ang Pinoy. It’s all about the money. Sad but true.

“Kung ako sa iyo, mag-Nursing ka na rin para pagkatapos mo alis ka na agad ng PIlipinas.” I heard that from a conversation of students in my jeepney ride to school. Ouch! I pity the humble profession for being abused. If Florence Nightingale would have been alive, she could have hunted them down for putting down the profession.

However, what struck me most is that phrase: “pagkatapos mo alis ka na agad ng Pilipinas” because it is as if the Philippines is the worst place in the world that they need an immediate escape. Yes, the Philippines may be at its lowest right now but I still believe that there is still hope for this country to get back to its feet and lead the race.

I still love this country even though its politics is as crazy as hell. Even if the highest seat in the land is the target of many and the current person seated on that throne is not moving an inch. I still love the Philippines even if its economy is sinking fast yet all the prices of products and services are increasing almost day after day.

And even if the people of this country are putting one over the other, I still love this beautiful archipelago.  To the people like the students in the jeepney, please have the decency to respect both the Nursing Profession and the Philippines that took you in her arms.

I am a student nurse, I don’t deny that fact though it is on a need to know basis. With God’s grace, I will soon be marching to the beat of my own drum after March 2006.

I am not saying that I am not considering the idea of working abroad as a nurse. Most of my paternal relatives are abroad and are encouraging me to go and work overseas.

Maybe I will go work for a few years and then come back to the Philippines and teach the next generation of Nightingales or maybe I will venture into business and finally become a tycoon, who knows. Maybe I will be working using a second degree.

Maybe.

My life is still starting and who knows where it leads me. One thing is sure though, I will never wear that white uniform for the rest of my life.

Leaving the Philippines is not a matter of choice; it is coming back that is.

raging_ritch

today i realized two things:

1. i am getting old because i am becoming a "suki" (regular) of weddings.

this is the nth wedding that i have attended. good thing that i am not included in the entourage or whatever... just a mere expectator...

2. that i am allergic....

today, i though that i would have a feast... i was damn wrong... i had to eat slow because most of the people in the table were ladies and they eat slow and in small portions... i ate faster than they did and more than they did... after  about twenty or thirty minutes... i was felt my tongue thicken, everything in my mouth became thick and itchy... then it spread to my lips an now on my cheeks... thank goodness, i took my antihistamine before it worsens...

 conclusion:

i am allergic to weddings and wedding receptions... whahahahahaha