INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION

raging_ritch

matagal tagal na rin mula noong aking isantabi ang aking panulat... isinara ang aking kuwaderno at talaan.... ibig ko nang iwan ang pagsusulat... tama na ang aking pag-iingay sa pamamagitan ng kumpas ng aking plumang binigyang titik ng aking isipang walang kapaguran...

sa ilang buwang katahimikan...  nakipagtalo ang aking isipan at  katawan... lakas  at oras... marami ang pinaraan, pinalampas at ipinagwalang bahala dahil sa isang hangarin... busalan ang aking sariling pagpapahayag ng  sarili....

o kay hirap na manahimik gayung ang iyong  kalooban ay naghuhumiyaw... nabibingi sa sariling sigaw na tanging ako at ako lamang ang nakaririnig...

hindi ko maikakaila na sadyang hindi ko maisasantabi ang aking pagiging manunulat... hindi ko masabi kung kelan ako muling susumpungin ng pananahimik... susumpungin ng aking pag-iingay..

isa lang ang aking masisigurado... habang ang tinta ay pilit isinisilid sa  isang lalagyan, sa pagbuhos nito, sasabay ang pluma...  sasayaw sa saliw ng nag-uumpaw na mga salita na naguunahang maitala...

raging_ritch

sometimes in life we gather dirt

not because we want to

but because we think

"it's okay to put is aside in the meantime"

because we have no time or energy to clean it up

time passes.

we forget the grime.

we forget the dirt.

we forget all about them all together.

time passes.

we have forgotten our mess.

our dirt, our grime.

they have taken too much space.

untouched and ignored.

time passes.

we notice these grime and dirt

has occupied the once empty space

we now decide to do something,

anything...

time has passed.

you reached a point that you decide

to clean up the mess has been stored for too long

time to let it all out

time to let it go

time to clean

clean

white

pure

absolute emptiness

then find another trash to savor....

raging_ritch

people will always have something to say about how i live my life, how i do the things i love, how i treat the people around me.

come on. bring it on. talk all you want.

judge all you want. speculate all you want.

the more you do it, the happier i get...

why?

i am living the life you want.

so keep talking...

i would not mind at all...

it your other way of saying,

"hey you are interesting. interesting enough that i spend some of my time talking about you. "

i thank you for that. now, people know me. and i don't even know these people.

raging_ritch

i had the sweetest dream.

we are happy together, her and me.

having a wonderful time. then the  saddest thing happened. ..  

 i woke up.

raging_ritch

after more than a year, i saw her again. she has changed a lot, in a good way of course.

it was a stormy day here in baguio with typhoon mina around. it was declared to be signal number 2 earlier that day.

 it was over 3 hours of catching up.

it was fun. and i really had a good time.