i know exactly where to find you...

you know as well where i stand...

i am still waiting...

waiting...

but soon, when all this is over...

i have to leave...

for now, i am not leaving without you..

 

SPOILER:::::

this entry is not in anyway sexual/sensual in nature... hahahahaha

 

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i never questioned why you came into my life

i just did.

i never asked why you chose to stay, for now.

i am glad you did.

its been sometime since you left a mark...

in my life...

in my soul...

but there is nothing more to that...

just a stamp that you had been in my life...

for whatever reason...

i am choosing that you never leave...

but half of me hesitates...

for i dont want to dream for the rest of my life...

for i dont want to long for the rest of my life...

for i dont want to silently torture myself all my life...

for i dont want to break what is the closest thing that we can ever have...

for i dont want to be so far in such close proximity...

for i dont want to not want you...

this is the suckiest, lamest, cheesiest words

but you made me do it.

i can never share.

i dont want to share.

for from now on, everything i do is for me...

i want you... without the excess baggages...

when you are ready...

i cant promise i will be here...

i stood in the shadows of the dark alley of someone's life.

silently i watched someone live and lie.

Lies became the solid truth

as i step out of the darkness

grasped the dagger of hate

blood trickled down my hands

stains of blood gave me impulses

thrust after another gave comfort

death is inevitable and ensured

no traces of guilt can haunt me

the point where enough is enough has come

some things end abruptly

truth is a beginning so can be a lie 

truth is a lie in itself

never will anyone know another soul fully

conceal ourselves in masks

bare our souls by hiding

Darkness is beckoning

The rain clouds have gathered

Lightning about to strike

Blasts of air launched

 

The fury comes in the still of the night

Everything silent is disturbed

Ever calm soul panicked

Stunned minds stopped thinking

 

Whatever happened in the dark hours

Anyone have their story to tell

Experiences to relieve

People to question

 

Gloom has set in

Smiles fades

Anger builds

Guilt  disappears

 

Relationships faded

People enraged

Individuals questioned

Lives changed

 

Years are forgotten

Moments of doom remembered

People cut you open

Feast on your flesh

 

In the darkness

We find people

We find ourselves

Then we are lost in the same darkness

 

 

nanliligaw ka ba? yan ang tanong ng isang kaibigan. oo. tangi kong sagot. anong nangyari? ??? bakit ganyan ka na manligaw. para kang baguhan sa ganyan. ????!!!! ah kasi wala na pala ligaw-ligaw sa iyo ano. huh? nakikinig ka ba? oo. bakit nga ganyan? ang alin? yung panliligaw mo kay... (tumutugtog ang "search for a star in a million" theme) bakit ba? diskarte ko ito. naninibago lang ako sa iyo. eh ano ba kasi alam mo? wala. yun na nga eh. pero nanliligaw ka? oo nga. kay... (tumutugtog ang "search for a star in a million" theme) tumpak. eh bakit ayaw mong itodo? hinay-hinay lang. hindi pa yata handa yung tao. eh bakit ka nanliligaw? eh kasi umamin na ako. yun naman pala eh. siya yung kasama mo sa picture na nasa organizer mo at sa corkboard mo? siya nga. tol, payong kaibigan. kung inantay-antay mo siya, huwag mo nang pakawalan. eh ano ba sa tingin mo gingagawa ko? wala. wala kang ginagawa. maghintay ka. talaga lang. pustahan tayo, di mo magagawa. pusta. gago ka ba? baka masira pa ako sa iyo. ungas. ah basta hindi mo magagawa. magagawa ko. sigurado ka? oo. antay ka. sasagutin ka ba? ..kibit balikat... kitam. wala ito. naliligaw. hindi ko naman sinabi na kami na. ang sabi ko nanliligaw ako. laos. tol, kasi ganito. take it slow. huwag kang magmadali. mas excited ka pa sa akin eh. kaw na lang kaya manligaw? hindi eh. di ka ganyan eh. eh sa ganito na nga ako ngayon. kasi nga mahal ko yung tao. binago ako ng taong ito. hindi mo ba makita. tol, antagal na nating magkaibigan, siguro nga kilala mo ako noon. pero iba na ako ngayon. si ritch dati, wala na yun. pinalitan na ni raging. ano? basta. tumahimik ka na. ako nanliligaw. ikaw, naliligaw. paano mo ako makikilala eh sarili mo nga di mo kilala. kuha?

am i in love with you? i am in love with you. i am in love, you? i! in love! you? i! love! you? you! i love you... love... i... ... ?!?

BIRCHES When I see birches bend to left and right Across the lines of straighter darker trees, I like to think some boy's been swinging them. But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay. Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning After a rain. They click upon themselves As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel. Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen. They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load, And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed So low for long, they never right themselves: You may see their trunks arching in the woods Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground, Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair Before them over their heads to dry in the sun. But I was going to say when Truth broke in With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm, I should prefer to have some boy bend them As he went out and in to fetch the cows-- Some boy too far from town to learn baseball, Whose only play was what he found himself, Summer or winter, and could play alone. One by one he subdued his father's trees By riding them down over and over again Until he took the stiffness out of them, And not one but hung limp, not one was left For him to conquer. He learned all there was To learn about not launching out too soon And so not carrying the tree away Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise To the top branches, climbing carefully With the same pains you use to fill a cup Up to the brim, and even above the brim. Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish, Kicking his way down through the air to the ground. So was I once myself a swinger of birches. And so I dream of going back to be. It's when I'm weary of considerations, And life is too much like a pathless wood Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs Broken across it, and one eye is weeping >From a twig's having lashed across it open. I'd like to get away from earth awhile And then come back to it and begin over. May no fate willfully misunderstand me And half grant what I wish and snatch me away Not to return. Earth's the right place for love: I don't know where it's likely to go better. I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more, But dipped its top and set me down again. That would be good both going and coming back. One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

i was staring at the skies last night.... i saw those tiny lights in the vast sky... stars.... that's how they call it... in their great number... only one caught my attention... she is one little star near the "rosary" constellation... i stared at her... long enough to even memorize its location... i thought to myself... i found a star among millions... now could i have found the star down that would make my heart shine once more...